Body Image

I am not going to apologize for a very wordy and long post as my first regular post because I think that a lot needs to be said about Body Image.

Alright! Down to business. The first thing I'm going to talk about body image. I want to start out with this as my first topic because it's important as a sort of disclaimer to my blog. Something I want everyone who visits this blog to know is:

You are worth so much to so many people. Your life has worth. And you are breathtakingly beautiful.

I feel like we don't hear that enough, and we get bogged down by all of the pressure to "better ourselves" and to fit the mold of society. No matter your body type, no matter if you have clear skin, no matter if you wear makeup or not, you are unequivocally unique and worth all of the love in the world.

I have had a fairly poor self confidence since about the age of 11. When I was younger, I did gymnastics, and stayed stick thin because such is my genetic makeup. Then, when I got to middle school, found myself without friends, and on top of that I quit the gymnastics team because I didn't like the new coach. I spent about 99% of my time outside school just sitting in a chair, eating and reading fantasy books. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't regret reading, but what caused the problem was the lack of exercise (or really any movement except to go to school and to eat), and the constant snacking from after school until dinner, and then from after dinner until eight or nine at night. As you can probably guess, this did not do wonders for my body. I gained 50 pounds by eighth grade. I started sixth grade around 100 pounds, and started 8th grade at a little over 150 pounds. Of course, some of this was due to normal weight gain as I went through puberty, but the vast majority of it was just me, refusing to give my body the love it deserved.

I am finally learning to love my body. I have gone through spurts of being healthy and exercising in the past couple of years, but I didn't really stick with anything for more than a few months. I have started to finally become healthy by eating healthy food and exercising regularly, and though I have not lost all the weight (thank goodness!), I have settled at my best weight. What I'm working on now is switching some of the fattier areas of my body into muscle. I'm striving for a healthy body that can support me and the adventures I am challenging myself to. I don't hate the fat on my body anymore. There used to be times when I would stand in front of a mirror and hold my arms in such a way that it would cover up the areas of fat that I wanted to get rid of. I believed I was ugly and that I needed to change who I was  in order to become desirable. I know now this is not at all the case.

It took me years to understand that I am beautiful and important. I want this blog to be a place where people can share their stories and feel at ease with their bodies and find peace of mind in the fact that we are all perfectly imperfect. We are all worth more than we know, and are loved by more people than we realize. We need to remind ourselves every time we look in the mirror that we can have confidence to be who we are because there is no one in the world who can be better at rocking who you are than you. Have the confidence to tell yourself that you can do anything you set your mind to. Have the confidence to love yourself.

Have a wonderful day!

<3 Kaylen Mae Vandergon